New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
EW FUCK GROSS GODDAMMIT I WENT DOWNSTAIRS AND MY GODDAMN BROTHER WAS FINGERING SOME GIRL ON THE FLOOR DOESN'T HE KNOW HE FUCKING LIVES WITH PEOPLE
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
Randomize