I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
I just stole a conducting baton from the chicago symphony orchestra... i have to stop drinking on weeknights
i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF?
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
I made my uber driver take a pit stop between clubs so we could restock on Xanax. #priorities
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
Randomize
