I left my keys in the garlic bread freezer in Publix.
dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
Randomize
