okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
I just took a condom out of my purse and opened it in front of my entire family because I thought it was a wetnap. Way too hungover for family brunch.
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
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