I bought beer tonight and got 3 coupons with my receipt. Paper towels, laundry detergent, and Advil. I wonder if Stop & Shop predicts the future or just does this with every beer purchase.
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
Randomize
