I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
if your phone is working sorry i called you at 2am. if it is not then i never called your phone at 2am
genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
I love Texas men! TSA agent found my vibrator, nodded approvingly, and said, “You have a nice night, ma’am” with a cowboy accent. I almost made out with him on the spot
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