Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
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