so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
just got out of a noise viloation because the cop recognized my roomate as his favorite chipotle burrito roller. just another reason I love ritos
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
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