That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
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