There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
Randomize
