If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
worst night to have a conscience
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
Use "feeling words"
Yay
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
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