Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
fries before guys. food before dudes. shakes before dates. chips before dicks. lemon bars before football stars. macaroni before screwin' tony. what i'm saying is please come to ladies' night
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
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