if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
Tonight, I'm planning on being a bigger trainwreck than Britney Spears circa 2007.
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
Randomize
