Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
That's totally the Emoji for "just ran into some girl who knows I know she had an abortion"
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
Randomize
