Uh i was pretty wasted sat, so if i was weird it wasnt me. It was just vodka bein weird w my phone
Tonite tequila might call you
Be prepared
Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
No no no...you park the car, stick your tongue down his throat, slip your number in his pocket, invite him to insomnia, and THEN LEAVE. You go from awkward to epic in a matter of seconds.
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
It says a lot about the way my life is going right now that 'there's no shit in your house' is fucking good news.
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
Randomize
