That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
Roommate is eating a chimichanga, watching Dr Doolittle 2 and weeping. His Tuesday hangovers make me feel better about my life.
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
I was so high I forgot how to swallow food, and I just kept thinking "thank god its just mashed potatoes, they'll go down eventually"
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
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