I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
i think the title to my autobiography shall be, "a bottle of vodka and various pieces of meat"
and this is why you're my favorite gay friend.
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
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