I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
He's a Shit stain on my heart
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
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