Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
I'm at subway, this 8 year old kid is judging my fashion sense with his dad. I want to kill myself.
It's ok, he's just 8, he's not judging you.
He just asked why I'm sitting alone. I honestly want to cry.
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
i just remembered the time you guys tried to give me an intervention because i was drunk before 5 on a monday
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
Who put my cat in the fridge?
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
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