nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
Randomize
