Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Randomize