Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
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