dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
Fuck you for setting me up with the guy from the Nickelback cover band
Payback for not stopping me from fucking the guy in the wookie costume
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
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