Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
I’m going to fail his daughter so she stays in my class and I can keep fucking him. BEST. ORGASMS. EVER.
Then you can teach the kid to be a home wrecker
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