I'm lost and stupid without you.
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
There're making snowcones with the leftover vodka from last night. This is not the time to be making up excuses!
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
