thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
i don't know whats more disturbing, that his dog drooled directly into my mouth or that i was too drunk and tired to do anything except let it be there.
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
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