i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
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