I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
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