Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
I'm high and craving hash browns from McDonalds. Please pick me up. I also would like a hug and a supportive pat on the back when you get here. Thanks.
Its two in the afternoon. McDonalds don't sell hash browns at 2 in the afternoon. Whore. The hug I can provide however.
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
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