just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
I fell asleep while we were Skyping and woke up to his balls bouncing in front of the camera while he sang "Wakey Wakey!" over and over again. Merryfuckingchristmas.
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
Randomize