SEEEEXXX PLEASE
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
Randomize
