I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
Randomize
