Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
I am one with the molecules
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
Randomize
