If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
Whoa!!! Accidentally took a dump in chick's bathroom at Red Robin. 1 hr for coast to be clear. Women's farts sound like geese taking last breath. Liars.
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
"I'm 22, I could die in a piano bar." -a sentence i actually just said to my boss
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