Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
Nyc is like a mosaic of my failed dates.
6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
I'm determined to sit on that face.
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
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