Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
He kissed a someone with a penis
Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
I met my future husband in an elevator. Think Hispanic version of Dr. Bunsen Honeydew from the Muppets, but with eyes like Michael Fassbender.
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
If I don't singlehandedly make your gf realize she needs to straighten the fuck up or ruin your relationship before I leave I have failed you as a friend.
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
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