Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
Randomize
