CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
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