Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Randomize
