you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
I can't be 100% sure of this but I think tonight was the first time I told a middle aged woman holding a baby to go fuck herself
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
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