I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
There are dudes in kilts outside my window practicing fire breathing with cheap vodka and a modified grill lighter. I thought you should know.
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
Randomize
