so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
Her vagina should come with caution tape.
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
Hindsight: maybe I should have included a few transitional texts in between talking about your son and my need to have sex. Do over?
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
Randomize
