seriously iPhone. stop autocorrecting all my fucks into ducks. you're making all my strong worded texts look harmless and adorable.
so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
Recently successful and happy relationships are at an all time high now that you are no longer fucking so many peoples girlfriends. You alone have changed the mating patterns in the lower half of our county.
You need to stop relating my life to your schoolwork. But tell my girlfriend that she'd be proud.
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
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