so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
I woke up this morning half naked, smelling like an ash tray, with an empty bottle of jack next to me, and now someone named Dora the anal explorer is texting me.
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
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