My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
Randomize
