I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
Randomize
