You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
Note to self: remember to figure out whether melted cheese is a liquid when not stoned
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
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