i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
The spoon I was using to ice my hickey just fell out of my purse while i was paying at the liquor store. I look like an alcoholic with a meth problem.
you were crying and the really sympathetic homeless man offered you a sip of his whiskey. who was i to stop you?
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
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