Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
I just want to find somebody intelligent enough to trick my parents into thinking she's not a trophy wife. Is that too much to ask?
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
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