I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
Randomize
