another moral hangover. fuck.
in the event that i am dead, my body is laying in the intersection of ... the pearl in springfield. it was my friend's 21st but i think i'm dead. wearing a black top. like i said, probably dead.
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
The amount of my urine my roommate has consumed after I found out he's been eating my food almost offsets how angry I am
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
Randomize
