So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
This dress was meant to end up on your floor
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
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