So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
My husband just came over to kiss me and said, "careful, I got a block of cream cheese in my pocket"
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
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