so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
Tornado booty call.. dedication
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
The air I exhale reeks of whiskey and bad decisions
Randomize
