I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
How do I send someone an apology text for giving them a lap dance in the middle of a party last night?
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
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