My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
Randomize
