Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
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