he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
So vagazzling was a success
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
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