i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
I Pavlov-trained him by smacking him in the nuts anytime I caught him looking at another girl in public. To this day, he's afraid to break eye contact with me in a restaurant if a tall busty blonde walks in.
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
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