We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
So the same day I accidentally bought waterproof mascara is the day I accidentally had shower sex. The world is finally on my side.
In all seriousness, if tomorrow night becomes a heated game of Which Ex Gets To Take The Plastered Birthday Girl Home, I'm going to bow out with my integrity intact.
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
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