I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
Randomize
