We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
you mean i was at the winter classic?
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
he laminated a picture of his dick.
Just took an adderall with a shot of tequila while doing my makeup in the parking lot at work before I go in. I'm also late. They're so lucky to have me.
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
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