You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
Oh my god. Just had sex with this girl on the boardroom table at my work at midnight (win!) just realized I left the condom wrapper on the table (lose!)
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
THE PRUIS IN YOUR DRIVEWAY IS NOT YOURS
excuse me?
I accidentally borrowed your spare keys a while ago...i just tried them...that, my friend, is not your car.
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
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