i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
You wouldn't stop asking the hibachi cook if his knife was a hattori hanzo
I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
Sorry about blasting sandstorm on a loop when i left for work this morning. But maybe this will teach you to not come home trashed on a tuesday night with some chick and have loud sex till 4 in the morning. The walls are thin, remember?
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
Is re-gifting a Valentine's Day present worse than re-gifting a Xmas one?
You're unbelievable, unbelievably awesome.
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
Randomize
