I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
He broke up with his gf yesterday so he could give me our annual Christmas sex at midnight.
Marry him. Now.
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
At the end of the date, he asked if he could kiss me. I really wanted to say "dude, I didn't shave for nothing"
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
Randomize
