Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
I think I wrote "thanks for the free alcohol!!!" in their wedding guest book and I'm almost positive I signed my name
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
It was the classiest, most strategic and inspired vomiting I've ever witnessed. Like a blind mans first sunrise. A priests first prayer. Or a virgins first orgasm.
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
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