Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka.
do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob?
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
The drag queen you used to date and the girl you brought over last night are discussing your sex noises in my living room. I'm changing my locks.
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
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