I'm trashed wearing your mom's snuggie. She says hello.
Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
According to Joseph, last night I crawled into bed and told him to pretend I'm his French maid, and then started speaking with a German accent, and referring to his manbits as "ze greatest Weiner schnitzel I'd ever seen". Basically, last night was a roaring success.
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
Randomize
