hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
um i just realized that some of the people at my family reunion look inbred. thats not a good sign.
hahaha beady eyes set close together? defs inbred.
my dads cousin just put a cig in his dogs mouth and says, "look its a commercial for newport!" holy hell i hope im adopted.
Last night my friend tried to make out with me in an olive garden. Ahahah
Nothing says 'I love you' like never ending salad and breadsticks
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
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