I hate your face
We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
No...this little piggys going to the bar
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
you never un-have a 4some
If the guys trying to booty call text me could see me right now in some raggedy pajamas with toothpaste down the front of my shirt eating pepperoni out of the package they might change their minds
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
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