He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
Neighbor who got arrested at 3am just said he'd split the $ with me if I testify as the witness in his police brutality trial. He was also holding a baby and a case of beer.
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
I gave his parents a candle as a thanks for letting me hang out there all the time. Which i guess is more accurately a thanks-for-letting-me-fuck-your-son candle
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
you're usually drunk when you offer. there's one time you called me, told me not to dye my hair red, and asked if i wanted to see your tits.
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
Just found a note on the bed that said "Dear mittens, had to leave early I'll be back soon."
WTF? Are you mittens?
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
I know you would never do it--but if I ever walk into your house and find a "live love laugh" ANYTHING, I will commit you to an asylum. If it is a vinyl decal adhered to the wall, I will just smother you myself.
Randomize