I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize