Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
The one thing I know about living in Vegas is the closest I'll ever come to being a father is singing the theme song from Full House to a garbage can while I eat an entire birthday cake.
Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
Randomize
