So my roomate was sunbathing this morning on the porch with a sock covering his penis
Sounds like a really classy character....
He is classy. It was argyle.
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
It says a lot about the way my life is going right now that 'there's no shit in your house' is fucking good news.
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
Randomize
