sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
In a world where you don't want your phone to pocket dial your parents at 2 in the morning while you're running around Florida shitfaced, Droid does.
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
Randomize